pie day

Yesterday was a pie kind of day.  We had a lot of rain and was trapped indoors most of the day (other than running to the Commissary in the morning).  I was in the baking mood (a common occurrence with me).  I don't bake pies often though.  I've only made a couple before this, and one was with my mom's help.  My mom makes all kinds of pies, and I grew up eating them.  Pies aren't that complicated to make but they are intimidating.  The more I practice the better I'll get though.  This pie was blueberry & blackberry.  I made it with frozen berries (cheaper and convenient).  It came out great!  I even used some whole wheat pastry flour in it.  My mom has been doing this the last several years (I think its been that long).


YUM!

Before baking

After baking
I get a D- for presentation!  The crust burned some and it oozed...

Riley - my baking pal

Yes, Riley is that child that hangs out wherever I am.
If I'm in the kitchen, so is Riley.

I don't mind her hanging out with me though!
She's cute.

piggy tails

Riley and I had a fun day today with friends.  It is beautiful outside and we enjoyed a picnic lunch while at the playground too!

Later on, when inside, she was given her first pigtails.  She looked so cute!!  Unfortunately, it only lasted a minute or so before she took them out. 

The pictures are blurry because she wouldn't sit still...but you can still see her cute hair!

dreary afternoon

On this rainy afternoon, while Riley is napping, I thought I'd get on my blog and give an update!

I haven't been in the blogging mood lately.  Maybe it's because I tend to blog so much in a row that I need a break from it sometimes.  That, or I just have been in a funk lately. 

Aaron's busy at work and at home, preparing for his deployment.  We've had lists of things to get done, more so for him.  There's lots of planning before he goes.  Other than that, his math class is finished!  He got an A+ in that class and kicked major butt (as usual).  Go Aaron!  He will continue with some college courses when he returns.  Later this month he travels for work to Atlanta...

Riley's busy being active.  She's really into doing everything herself.  It's amazing how fast she's growing.  Every day she seems older to us.  It blows my mind.  Soon, she'll be getting on the couch herself and sitting next to us!  She still has her outbursts and tantrums.  She hates the word "no" as all kids do.  She hates being interrupted when she's on her way somewhere or in the middle of something.  We have to give her proper warning before changing her course.  She still hates her barrettes.  Aaron and I are seriously (again) contemplating cutting her hair before he goes.  Her feet are big, growing out of her summer shoes we had for her.  Thank goodness her Crocs still fit - I think those will get her to Fall.  Riley loves to sing.  Loves it.  She's doing it everyday, more and more.  She dances some too but mostly sings.  She is talking more, and saying more words.  It amazes us when she repeats a word and says it dead on.  Aaron and I just look at each other, like "what just happened?!"  It's a lot of fun.  I love that we can give commands and she totally knows what we're saying.  She can't talk much but she knows what's going on.  It's a really fun thing about toddlers.  I just tell her it's time for "night night" and to brush her teeth and she heads for the stairs, blowing kisses as she makes her way.  Riley is loving bath time right now but I hate it.  She scares me!  She moves all around and doesn't sit still.  One night she had a tantrum in the tub and put her face in the water.  Well, the good thing is she hasn't done that since.  Whew!

Emillie is turning 14 years old real soon.  I think every time we see her now she talks about her birthday and how excited she is.  She has high hopes for a cell phone.  Aaron and I will not be getting her one, as she doesn't live with us and we can't monitor that - but there is word on the street that her mother is getting one for her.  I guess she took Emillie to the store and they were checking out phones.  I really hope she does get one, for her sake.  She's going to be in High School soon, after all!

Hannah is at a week summer camp right now.  This coming Saturday we will only have Emillie, as a result.  I know Hannah is sad she's missing a day with us but she's also really excited about this camp.  I hope she is having fun!  It amazes me how brave Hannah is.  She will go anywhere, talk to anyone.  At 10 years old, I would've been scared going to something like that alone.  The idea of making new friends would freak me out (still does).  Hannah is Miss Social.  I love that about her, because I'm entirely different.

As for me, I'm still here!  I think the "funk" I spoke of earlier has more to do with Aaron going away than I lead myself to believe.  I try to stay really strong about it, but deep down I'm nervous.  This is the first deployment with Riley.  Anyway, I signed up for a Mother's Time Out at my church this Fall.  It'll only be 6 sessions all together, but it'll be a little something for Riley and I to do.  I will continue seeing my friends when I can, and of course my parents too.  I know I have a great support network, and will absolutely rely on that if I need to.  I've had a lot on my mind lately, other than Aaron's deployment, and I just can't seem to shake it.  I know Aaron's had a lot on his mind too.  We're very happy in the every day moment but the unknown future is making us both think too much!

On a side note, Aaron's aunt recently passed away.  Please keep his family in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

Also, please say a prayer for my grandpa!!

Thank you...hope all of my readers are doing well.  :)

current Riley stats

Riley had her 15 month appointment yesterday (even though she's now closer to 16 months!)  She got a couple shots and her measurements taken.  I was very close in my guess saying Riley was probably around 22 pounds.  She weighs 21 lbs 14 oz and is still in the 25th percentile.  Her height is 32 inches, which is the 90th percentile.  Aaron said "no wonder she gets mistaken for a 2 year old all the time, she's tall and skinny!"  Riley is super active so her weight makes sense right now.  Anyway, the doctor was pleased with everything.  She's a healthy girl!  Skinny or not, that's all we care about.

beast cat

I was asked about Tater (our cat) and how he gets along with Riley recently.  I thought I'd go ahead and post it.  After all, Tater is part of our family and before Riley we referred to him as our "son" when Aaron and I would talk about him.

Well, the quick answer is -- Tater doesn't really get along with anyone, let alone Riley.  And, we haven't called him our "son" since the day Riley was born.

Tater is our cat.  He's a cat.  He's a pet.  An animal.  Not our "son."

Tater was always weird, to be honest.  From day one he ate his food entirely too fast and would turn around looking as if someone were going to take it away.  He scarfs his food down.  We feed him twice a day.  He used to be on a diet.  We haven't taken him to the vet in awhile so I don't know what they'd recommend for him now, probably a diet still (he's huge) but we feed him if he's hungry.  Why not?  I hate diets.  Tater must too. 

Tater (his full name is Tater Tot, by the way) never liked people - especially men.  Any repair man of any sort scares the meow out of him.  He's a wuss.  I've found him hiding under the bed, couches and even in the bathtub before.  He hisses.  He growls.  He swats and kicks.  He attempts to bite.  Being scared makes him do nasty things.

Tater is mean.  People come over and want to pet him, so as they attempt to he'll immediately swat at them, or try to bite them or just run away hissing.  We have to explain our cat every. single. time. someone comes over.  It gets old.  We have to explain that he's different and to just avoid him - ignore him.

Tater does not like Emillie, Hannah or Riley either.  He tolerates them to the point he has to but he really doesn't care for them.  And actually, the girls don't care for him much either anymore.  They just tell him to shut up as he hisses.  They are totally used to him and his ways.  Riley, on the other hand...

Riley still loves Tater.  She's too young to understand that he's mean.  Actually, I take that back.  Tater has growled and swatted at her - and she's pouted and started to cry before.  She's had her feelings hurt several times by him already.  Riley loves cats.  "at" was her first word besides Dada, of course.  She loves cats.  Loves meowing.  Loves Tater.  She loves touching him, following him, etc.  Tater will let Riley get close sometimes but eventually he gets annoyed and turns mean or just runs away.  He's never bit Riley.  If he ever does, Aaron will probably remove him from this house immediately (not that I could argue that).

Tater tolerates me and Aaron too.  If it weren't for us feeding him, he'd have nothing to do with us.  He's not affectionate.  Not a lap cat.  You can't hold him (only Aaron can) and he's nice only a small amount of time.  Many times I start petting him thinking he's being nice and sweet and...nope!  He goes to bite me and I yell at him.  The end.  Same story, different days. 

Actually, my allergies are getting worse (probably because I'm off allergy shots currently) and I can't even pet Tater or hold him.  His fur instantly bothers me.  I vacuum like crazy.  Lucky for me I'm a neat freak anyway so vacuuming doesn't bother me in the least.  It's a chore I enjoy.  (If any of you want to pay me to vacuum your house, please call!)  Aaron has to brush Tater because I can't handle his fur flying in the air.

I love cats.  I grew up with cats.  I'm so sad that I'm really allergic to them.  Aaron wants us to get a nice cat and for me to get my allergy shots again.  Ha ha.  Well, that may happen in our future.  We'll see.

Seriously though, what do you do with a bad cat?  We've had him 5 years already and he's about that old.  While I don't like his behavior I do get sad when thinking of getting rid of him.  He's our cat.  I just feel weird even talking about getting rid of him.  But truthfully, he's not enjoyable to be around.  Our emotional ties to him are growing further apart - thanks to having Riley now, a "real" child.  Ha ha.  Oh, Tater.  How I wish you'd snap out of it and be nice already!

Aaron and I would love for Riley to grow up with a sweet, affectionate cat.  That's what we want.  And it's not what we have.  It's frustrating.

Tater does have one thing going for him though - he's a hunter.  He catches nasty crickets and mice that we get in this old house of ours.  He's good for something.  One thing.

Anyway, if anyone wants a mean cat - let me know.  We may be able to arrange something!  He is declawed - so his swats are just that.  He can't claw you...oh but he can with his back claws.  Oops, forgot that part.  Well, regardless, let me know if you want him.  He is handsome!

aww, he's cute right?  so innocent looking.

don't you just want to cuddle with him?!

look at that tub!
someone's not on a diet...

this is as close as i can get

family photo

Here is a picture of my little family the last morning we were in NY on vaca:

7-18-11

I love this - Riley messing with Hannah's hair, so typical

Thank you, Mom F for sending these to me! <3

friends

I hope you all don't mind, but I am going to take this opportunity and use my blog as if it were my journal.  It's not often I get too personal on this blog, but I really have had a lot on my mind and heart lately. 

I find I'm still struggling to balance my life out in a way that makes me 100% happy.  I absolutely love my husband, family and baby girl to pieces.  So please don't think for a second I'm not happy with any of them - because I am.  What I'm not happy about is feeling so tied down in this role as a wife and mother to the point where I don't really get enough "friend" time.  To talk to a friend on the phone, or via e-mail.  To visit old co-workers at lunch.  To get on a plane and visit some old college friends.  Ugh.  I don't feel like I get enough of my friends.  It's a part of my life that took a hit the day Riley was born.  And, I miss it. 

I've never been one to have loads of friends.  Never.  I was never popular.  (I know, shocking!)  I kept a handful of close friends everywhere I went.  In HS, in college, at work, and now as a stay-at-home mom.  While my handful of close friends has changed here and there - I am still friendly with everyone and try my hardest to keep in touch with all (near and far) but it's hard.  I know I'm not the only one that is busy, so I'm sure most of you reading this will immediately forgive my absence in your life.  I hope.

I just miss you all.  I never knew how much being a mom would consume my whole being.  It's everything.  It's an important everything and should be top priority - but I need to work harder at balancing my life in a way that keeps me happy, in all realms.  I need my girlfriends.  Need them.

I don't feel like I call enough, e-mail enough, ask you over enough, hang out enough, etc.  I have a million excuses why but I'm not sure you want to hear them.  So, I'll tell you.  Ha.  I'm busy with Riley all day, when she naps I have a list of things I want to accomplish that nap and one phone call blows half that nap time, then after she goes to sleep at night there are dishes and cleaning up to do.  If I dare go out for a walk or jog alone, it's then I do that.  Then it's a shower, hang out with my husband briefly, a small amount of "me" time if possible and then bed.  Same thing every day.  Yes, even on weekends.  They are no different.

All mom's - working or stay-at-home are BUSY.  I never knew what busy could really be like until Riley came along.

Some of you want to do lunch.  Let me tell you, unless you come to my house - that's hard too.  Riley eats early.  She's messy, she needs my constant attention, and when she's done eating she needs out of the highchair ASAP or we have an emergency.  She then runs around and I no longer can eat and finish my lunch.  Eating out is expensive.  We gave up my income so I could raise Riley.  Eating out - see, right there that's tough -  if it involves me spending money, it's probably not a good idea.  Shortly after lunch, Riley goes down for a nap - usually by 1 pm.

Oh, you want to do dinner?  Yeah, same thing.  If it's eating out - I can only do that once in a great while because of the money thing.  I also need to make sure it's a night Aaron would be around to watch Riley while I went out.  Going to someone else's house for dinner is nice too but we usually have to leave relatively early because of Riley's early bedtime.  And again, Riley needs constant attention so if she's around - having an enjoyable meal is pretty much out of the question.  It's all about her.  Rightfully so!

Anyway, I could go on and on about why I can't see my friends but it doesn't take away the fact that I want to and that I miss you and that I wish I could just escape for a lunch or dinner out to see you.  While I do get chances to break away - it doesn't happen often so I try my hardest to enjoy the moments I do get and the visits I do get with each of you.

What I'm asking is for your patience and understanding.  Some of you absolutely know what I'm talking about and can relate, others of you can imagine it, and maybe some of you are just now getting it.  Whatever the case, please know I haven't forgotten you.  That I appreciate you.  That I need you in my life, even if we rarely speak.  Sounds so sad, I know.

Riley won't always be this needy.  I won't always be a stay-at-home mom.  We won't always be on a tight schedule.  We may not always be in this state.  Things change.  I won't always be in this position, feeling this guilty about my lack of connection with each of you.  I just needed to share with you how I am feeling because friendship is important to me and I know my actions haven't proved that lately.

If I say I can't do something, don't take it personally - understand it just doesn't fit in our schedule and our financial means right now.  But if I ask you over or do have a free night, understand that it's an opportunity to get together and catch up - even if it is on my time.  I hope you all can be understanding and forgiving.

I'll leave you with a quote by Emily Matthews - "Once in a while we meet someone who makes us feel so good, Who seems to understand us in a way few people could - Someone who's truly glad for us when things are going well, Who's always there to listen when we've something new to tell.  Once in awhile we find someone on whom we can depend - That's why we're really lucky, for we've found ourselves a friend."

I'm grateful and blessed to have you, friends, in my life.  Thank you for being there when I need you.  I hope you can say the same about me.  I hope that I too have been a good friend - even during this new phase of my life as a mother.  I'm still learning how to balance it all out.