OK. About running...

So, because I opened my big mouth about running on my blog (so shouldn't have done that), I felt it only fair to return to the subject to give you an update.  I am finding you all are holding me accountable, whether you know it or not!  (That is, all five of you who read this blog...hahahaha, I'm funny). 

OK.  Well, I haven't been running much lately at all.  Nope, not really.  I know, I know.  Horrible!  Go ahead, you can say it.  You're ashamed.  Actually, don't say it...because I already feel pretty bad about it myself.

I did exactly what I expressed to you all was my fear...an excuse would hit me.  Winter.  There it is.  There's always something that gets in the way of my goal to stay active and healthy all year round...not just spring and summer.  All year, including winter.  I failed.  Again. 

I found winter incredibly hard (and I realize it's still technically winter, but the weather is so much more bearable lately that I can't call it "winter").  I had little motivation and ambition.  I hate being cold.  The idea of going out there didn't appeal to me much.  Most days, I came up with an excuse...it's cold, it's snowing, it's dreary, it's icy, it's so much warmer inside, I have laundry to do, I have coupons to clip, etc.  I stayed in much of the winter (meaning, the last three months).

Actually, I did run some.  Just some.  I went out occasionally.  I actually walked more than ran, I felt that to be easier.  Walking is my friend.  When all else fails, I can walk.

In all reality though, I shouldn't beat myself up too much.  The sidewalks were covered with snow much of the time, and if not snow it was icy.  I would've had Riley with me, in the stroller...and it just was hard to get around town in that kind of weather.  Or, is this still an excuse?

Ugh.  I don't know.  Point is, I didn't run nearly as much as I had planned this winter.  I was so sure I could do it.  I had to this time around...no gym membership, no treadmill...but nope, still let my mind talk me out of it.

It's all mental.  Exercise.  Living healthy.  We all know that.  Most of us (Americans) fail because we convince ourselves we're not worthy, it's too hard, it's not convenient, it's not fun.  It's easy to give up, so we do.  I'm not the only person to have done this, that I'm sure of.

Today, I am opening up to you all because it helps me to realize I messed up...that I didn't accomplish what I wanted to.  And it helps me to move forward, to continue with my goals and to not give up.  I may continue on this roller coaster my entire life - but I will continue to strive towards being better...of living a more healthy life.  That is a promise I can make - that I will always try.

But, according to Yoda..."there is no 'try' there is only do or not do."  So I need to DO.

Running it is.  I'm back in the game!  I am signing up for a 5K the end of May.  I never cared to race or compete. I still don't, actually.  What I care about is getting back into running...and this 5K is just the goal I need right now.  Something to look towards, something to get me out my door with sneakers on.  I'm excited!

And maybe, just maybe...there will be one winter in my near future that I can handle...that I can beat!

I know running and I have a love/hate relationship...but I want so badly to end this feud, and to love it.